The article contrasts the end-of-life experiences of Grandma Lilly, who suffers in ICU, with Grandpa Joe, who dies peacefully surrounded by loved ones, highlighting the choices in dying.
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“I have the privilege to learn and hear interesting perspectives, along with all the questions and comments that our community members have, on the topics of death and dying. Here are a few insights I have gleaned from these discussions.”
“There should be a JLMA form: Just Leave Me Alone, for those of us who concede that we’re actually going to die some day and work to keep our end-times as inexpensive and comfortable as possible.”
“I was reluctant to force the issue. What remained unsaid came with its own set of consequences.”
“The sentence that sent my blood pressure skyward was this: ‘Even if my patients are beyond pain, there is also a cost to those who are forced to perform emergency efforts that is just that: a performance.’”
Had she been the family’s beloved old Labrador or suffering Boston Terrier, we would have taken her to the vet for a final loving, humane act, a choice unavailable to her family, doctors, or caregivers.
“They made the end of his life horrible and painful and humiliating,” Elaine Greenberg said. “What’s the sense of having a living will if it’s not honored?”
A “good” death is one in which you exert maximum autonomy over your end-of-life journey. Here are some checklists for what needs to be done.
“The rest is up to you,” he finally said, ending the conversation for good. He didn’t have any more guidance, and certainly no more patience to talk about it. I was surprised. To me, it felt slightly irresponsible to leave all these decisions to other people.
Managing dying and death is difficult enough. But if you do nothing, you’ll be a pawn in a profit-driven medical system.
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