“Having a sense of the possibilities in advance is essential to minimize surprises, make specific requests for end-of-life symptom management, and decide the possible paths available to you.”
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“Do you ever worry about your own death, feel that life is too short, or dread the day you will lose someone you care about? You are not alone.”
“Try to cherish that last goodbye. That one last opportunity to connect with your loved one while still earthly creatures. They are saying their last goodbyes, with love in their hearts.”
“Your mother didn’t choose a terminal illness. She only chose not to let the disease pick when and how she would die.”
“‘Don’t let the patient die’… is that the right thing or the wrong thing for a given patient? It is time for physicians to think that through more completely and allow, perhaps, a different answer.”
Death. Mortality. End of Life. Something inevitable, yet rarely discussed and a source of intense discomfort for most. When mentioned, it is considered inauspicious and rude in many cultures. Death is an integral part of the workday for a Critical Care Physician like me. But it was never a topic of discussion in Medical School or training.
Most view dementia as a person leaving them. But they’re not. They’re evolving into a new person, similar but not exact. Their capacity to perform tasks and retain memory of recent events doesn’t disqualify them from continuing to be loved and treated with dignity and respect, especially when the end is near.
When determining an ethical standard of discussing physician aid in dying (PAD) during medical decision-making, it is important to begin with the caveat that physicians are not ethically obligated to assist a patient in ending his or her life, even if the physician informs the patient of the right to do so.
Don’t wait until you’re at death’s door to explore your passions, deepen your relationships and find your posse.
The most touching moments are those when I get to witness a client’s surrender to the natural course of things … when the control and desperation subside and acceptance fills the void.
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