In Part 1 of this post, Michele Bograd explores the concept of the “good death,” highlighting the influence of personal beliefs, social privilege, and structural inequalities in shaping end-of-life experiences as an end-of-life doula.
“Look at this book and let’s talk,” I imagine people saying. Or, “Read the story on page (X) and know that’s what I envision for myself.”
“You need to understand that you should not be afraid of dying. Be afraid of not living your life, of mindlessly moving from day to day …”
“Many agencies, home health providers, churches, and physicians are reluctant to recommend services that address end of life issues. It is sad and confusing why anyone would not give their friends, clients, or customers the guidance and comfort that trained professionals can offer.”
“Does the contract allow you to have access to your own doctors? What is the facility’s position on VSED? If you enter hospice, will they commit to providing adequate pain relief? If you live in a state with MAiD, will the facility cooperate?”
“Imagine you are sitting in a serene field with your loved one. The sun is shining and you feel happy. Then imagine later that day, being told that your loved one is ill or worse, the condition is life-limiting. The future of that morning suddenly has a very different outlook, and your priorities understandably change, with a re-prioritization of both your physical and emotional world.”
“Many of the individuals around the bedside barely know each other, and this becomes an environment of misinformation, mistrust, and hidden agendas about substantial financial and estate issues … as ex-wives and ex-husbands, half siblings who never knew each other, long-time same-sex partners (surprise, who knew?), in-laws, out-laws show up at the bedside.” — Dr. Edward T. Creagan, M.D.
“I dislike the phrase, ‘They failed treatment.’ The amount of judgment within this phrase is damaging.”
Research points to rise in deep grief as more families are left wondering what more could have been done.
“Once you come up with a few items that bring comfort and involve the senses, it becomes easier to construct an individualized plan to share with those who are near and dear to our hearts.”
